I AM ENOUGH

Maybe it's because it's the first full week of the New Year, and reflecting on the last 12 months and planning for the next, is what we're supposed to do. Or, maybe it's because my kids still have two days left of their 2.5-week vacation and getting them back to a normal routine can't come quick enough...Or more likely, it's the fact that my life has changed so much over the past year, and when I sit down and think about everything I've been through (where I've come from and where I'm going), it's almost surreal to think of how much my family has grown because of it all. 

​I think about change and what it does to you and those you love. I also think about how I have changed due to circumstance. Perhaps that's what's finally happening. I'm taking it all in. Looking at me from a hole in the wall and accepting what I see.

In 2014 I certainly saw change. From commuting to the the city for my corporate job to working at home. Moving to another country. But before the big move, my kids and I living on our own for nine months on a 53-acre farm in the middle of ice storms and house showings, and my husband setting up shop 2423 km. To me undergoing two surgeries (one to rectify an electrical problem in my heart), to moving into our family's trailer for the Summer during our transition to the US after we sold the country property (talk about a humbling experience)... Then losing our beloved dog, Maurice, and leaving our family and friends behind in Canada. The kids started a new school and joined new sports teams, and we started a new life here in Colorado. 

So much change. So many amazing memories. So much to look forward to. So many doubts. So much red tape. So many times I've counted my blessings. We're very fortunate to experience it all. And thankfully our friends and family have supported us every step of the way. You'll never know how much you mean to me.

So in light of starting an exciting new year--with two feet planted on the ground as a proud Canadian living in America for now (I can't believe it's already been 3 months in the Mile High City), I just had to jot things down because time seems to go by so fast and I didn't want to forget any of our journey so far. So this is for my kids.,,,my family,,,my friends,,,for me. Change has happened. Change will happen. But the biggest gift of all is that change is happening.

To put more simply, life is happening and we are blessed to be in each others' lives. I love my life--the old and the new. I cherish the people who have come and gone and those who I am yet to meet. I just needed some time to get used to the change that comes with what we call TIME. But we get over it and we learn from it. We grow. We reinvent ourselves. We need time to get to know ourselves, our passions, our insides and out. And more change will surely come. That's a given.
But I will never forget where I come from. Because that's what truly makes me the person who can endure this change and remain positive.

I know that everything is going to be OK in my life. If you have a chance read this post written by another amazing mom, Rachel, in her blog called Finding Joy. All of the fear and stress that comes along with the day-to-day of being a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter and woman with aspirations, goals and desires, seems to have subsided... at least for now. I know those feelings will come back one day. But for now I am OK with taking a breather. And I am OK with where I am and what's ahead of me. The unknowing is a part of life. I've always been a lover of change. Open minded to making leaps and taking chances. However sometimes not being in control of what happens to me and those that I love can feel like a slap in the face. 

But I know I'm not alone. Because this is life and there is a plan for each and every one of us and that is what makes me excited for this next chapter. My life has changed. My goals have changed. The way my kids see me has changed because life has progressed. But what I've learned is that I am still the same person under it all. Deep inside. The things around me have changed and maybe the way I see some people. But I am still a woman with high hopes and dreams, and lots of love to give everyone in my life. I have grown and learned from what I've been through. And you have too.
Every day is a new adventure. And with this, I want to start 2015 off with a clear vision of where I am and who I am. I accept all that comes with me. So here's to me being enough. Happy New Year. -klb 

Enjoying some fresh air on a cold hike in Denver and missing a glove. C'est la vie!